Today I passed an old running landmark & a flood of memories hit me all at once. I knew I missed running, but it wasn't until I passed I-Lan park today that I felt like crying (Shut-up all of you who are laughing at my hormone-induced ability to cry at the drop of a hat). I-Lan park was the 6 mile marker for me on some of my longer runs & it represents some of my bigger accomplishments including my first 22 mile run, the first time I ran in the snow and survived to tell about it, and the first time I ran 12 miles and realized that was an "easy" run. Anyway, those were good memories & I miss those days SO much right now.
I miss getting up at 4:30 am on Saturday mornings, and sneaking out of my house under the cover of darkness to go on a long run with my friends. Sure, there were plenty of mornings that I didn't feel like getting up so early, but I can't say I ever regretted having 10 miles under my belt before most of the city had even made their morning coffee ;-). That's satisfaction right there!! I also miss having a big race to look forward to. It's amazing how something so simple like running can do so much for ones mental state. Believe me, I'm a much kinder/happy person when I'm hitting the trails regularly...just ask my husband!
One of my biggest fears right now is that it's going to take f-o-r-e-v-e-r to get back to that place where I can run like I was before I got pregnant! I know it sounds incredibly selfish, but I need that back in my life. It feels good to just admit that, even though I know it's going to be quite awhile before that happens. Oh sure, I could try to go out for a run right now (just for old times sake), but seeing as I'm as big as a house & weigh a metric ton, I kinda doubt it would be the same. I had only discovered the "joys" of running about 18 months before I got pregnant this time around, so I wasn't exactly a "seasoned" runner. Plus, we won't even talk about what my other three children have done to my abdominal muscles that makes this whole idea of "running while pregnant" completely ignorant. I'll gladly preserve what little abdominal/bladder strength I have left for what lies ahead for me after this baby is born. Thank-you-very-much!
*This post was really just for me, so I apologize to those of you who were expecting a witty story, or some cute pictures of the kids. I'll be more entertaining later this week, I promise ;-). I just had to get that off my chest.
4 comments:
Amber I miss running with you too! And ahhh..the 20 mile run in the snow and Ice. I think you and I were about the only crazy ones out that day! I think I remember a post you made with a photograph of that wonderful freezing day! You will be back out there in no time. And when you are...your loyal running buddy will be right by your side! Oh yeah...that is me!! :-) haha. Until then...coffee meetings are a must. I know I have got to change something with my running...because running farther than 15 miles is not appealing to me at all! Not in the least bit! Maybe age and a few extra pounds??
Also... I was thinking of a name that started with a "C" like Chandler...since the girls start with an "M"... a friend of mine named her little boy "Christian" I just love that name. ANd he is the cutest boy ever!
Jodi
I have no comment about the running other than wow, I wish I missed running! I like the idea of it much better than the reality. ;-)
Ooh, ooh, "C" names! Let me add a few to consider:
Cameron
Caeden
Conner
Clint (just kidding... Clint White vs.Clint Black, LOL)
Jodi-
Yep, I'm not sure if it was brilliant determination, or shear stupidity that got us through our legendary 20 mile run in the snow last December, but I sure like that story! I'll be back out there with you after this little guy is born. Probably a lot slower for quite a while, but I'll get there! I told Jonathan that I'm going to try for the St. Louis half as my first "post baby" race & he said "shouldn't you pick one that you have had better luck with"-LOL!
Faith-
You're funny! I can't say I *love* running all of the time either! I know you have read my blog over the last year (at least), so I'm sure you have read a lot of my whiny posts about running stuff too. Sometimes the idea of running is better than the reality of it-LOL! I wish I was a "natural" at it...but I'm NOT! I'm slow (really slow) and most people would not consider me a "runner"...but they can bite me! I think it's more about just being outside and doing something that clears my head, than about the physical aspect of it. For instance, you have probably picked up on the fact that Jodi is my running buddy. :-) I don't think I would be running AT ALL if I had to do it by myself all the time. Sometimes it's all about the friends and funny conversations you have along the way that makes it all worth the effort. If I was serious about running I would have to care a little more about being "good"-hehe!
We are starting to think about "C" names...but I can't seem to settle on any that I just LOVE yet :-)
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