Well, Jonathan and I just completed the 13 week Dave Ramsey course called "Financial Peace" & I can say for sure that the last 13 weeks really have been life-changing! It's one of the best things we have done as a married couple & I finally have some hope that we really can change our family tree. I don't want to bore anyone with all the details about what "Financial Peace University" is, so I'll just say that the curriculum title says it all...you really will find financial peace if you choose to adopt the principals this course teaches.
This past Wednesday was our final class and the last lesson was on "giving". I really do think it was the best lesson out of all 13 lessons because it is at the heart of why I really desire to be debt free. Sure, I want to alleviate financial stress & be able to do things that my family never got to do (like take vacations!), but I would not say that is what drives me to seek being out of debt.
As many of you know I did not grow up with any sort of financial stability in my home. In fact, there were times where if it were not for the grace of God, we would have been homeless. That's my family history in a nutshell. When I grew up I vowed NEVER to let that be the legacy that I passed down to my children.
However, in the midst of being poor and destitute I was able to witness something pretty amazing from my parents...they were givers! Not with monetary gifts, but with their time and talents! My entire life I saw my Dad pick up hitch-hikers and buy them a meal, take in guys who were fresh out of prison, and down on there luck, & teach them how to write a resume & help them find a job. He also started several prison ministries were he would have worship bands come in and play for these guys & then hold a Bible study afterwards. Even today my Dad goes to a local prison to hold a monthly Bible study. He has mentored several of these guys when they got out & even found AA mentors for them so that they would stay on the straight and narrow and not end up back in prison.
These are just a few things I saw my parents do despite the fact that we were pretty destitute in our own way. There were Christmas's where we didn't get gifts, and months when the only food we ate was that which came out of our own garden or from the farm we lived on. Yet, my parents still had a heart for others. I didn't grow up with much, but I did grow up with parents who placed a high value on hard work and charity of the heart.
But...you know what I think is sad? My parents had a very hard time not feeling guilty about not "giving" to the Church in the "right" way. You all know what I mean. If you grew up in the Church, you heard the yearly "giving" sermons & maybe wrote a check or two out of guilt. However, I've never been at peace with that idea. I have to ask myself, "Is that really what God means when he says to give". I'll be honest here and tell you I never have bought into that & I never will.
What I am about to say next is not very popular...but this is my blog, so I get to say what I think... right or wrong! I said earlier that I wanted to become debt free so that we could be "givers", and by that I do mean giving MONEY (not just time and talents)! However, I do not think I'll ever be at peace with my soul if I write out a check to a Church building every month for 10% of my gross income. Why? Because, in my heart I believe God has called us to raise our heads up and out of the four walls of a Church building to see the world of needs all around us. He called us to "look after the orphans and widows in their distress" (James 1:27) & I take that very seriously.
What I'm saying right now is only to my Christian friends: Please think about what I am saying. Please consider that God has called you to give in more than one way. I find it very discouraging when most of my Christian friends do not have time for anything outside of their "Church Ministries". I do not think that speaks very highly of Christians. When you can't make time for programs like "Big brothers/Big sisters", when you don't have time to do a charity walk to raise money for cancer, stroke, autism, March of dimes, etc...what are you saying? Here is just one example that comes to mind : My Dad has asked, begged, and pleaded with many of his Christian buddies to come to the prison with him once a month and do a Bible study with these prison inmates, and he has yet to get a "yes" from any of his friends. They are all too busy with "Church stuff". What does that say??
OK....stepping down off my soap box. What I want from this post is to help others think outside the box. What I beg of you is this : Please understand that Christian or not, we should all be givers. I believe we were all created in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ, and he was a giver in the biggest sense of the word (For God so loved the world that He GAVE his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16). If you really believe that giving the biggest chunk of your monetary gifts to a Church building so they can crank the heat and A/C, turn on the lights, and pay staff salaries, is what God has called you to do...well, I'll not argue with you then. But, promise me that you will remember that God has called us to see the whole world....his world...a world full of needs.
Please do not forget that somewhere across the street, or across the world there is a single mother who is struggling to feed her children & she still needs help. Somewhere, there is a man laying in a prison cell that needs to know that someone thinks he is worth more than the sum of the wrongs he has committed. Somewhere, there is a family with a young child that is dying of cancer, and their only hope and encouragement comes from a local not-for-profit charity that is funded by people like you and me. Please...DO NOT forsake these people! You simply cannot ignore the world around you because you are "too busy". We are capable of so much more than we realize, we just need to step out of our tiny little worlds to see it sometimes.
I'm saying this as much to myself as I am to anyone else. I do not want to forget where I came from, or where I'm going. I want to live this life with purpose and meaning. I want my children, and my children's children to have a rich heritage filled with great examples of generous givers. I hope my name is NEVER carved in a cement park bench at some multi-million dollar Church complex, because my money was used to build a useless courtyard for people who already have a courtyard in their own backyards! I DO hope that some day a poor family with three little girls will receive an anonymous package filled with gifts and food on Christmas Eve, just in time to give those little girls hope that this Christmas will not pass once again with no gifts (that was me many years ago...)!
I'm sure that I've sufficiently bored many of you to death with this long, grammatically incorrect, self-righteous tirade...but it was sure therapeutic for me ;-). If you did read this, I hope it gets you thinking about what you want for your future, and your family tree.
Peace!
9 comments:
Amber- Good thoughts and I didn't think it was grammatically inkorrect.
Your parents have a long history of service to the Lord and the church and I know many people have been changed by their generosity, not just touched by it.
I too have a "distaste" for churches that focus on the building and not the mission. In my humble opinion, if you're going to have a building, it should just be a tool (and an affordable on at that) to be used when the home cannot be. Last summer we went to a parade where the local church was giving out water and coffee. Their shirts read "The church has left the building". I loved it.
I REALLY hate it when something like a building or thing costs so much and takes so many resources for upkeep, that there is no money left over to even buy water to hand out. This isn't just in church but in our personal lives as well, with our stuff.
It's a poor reflection of American society and closer yet, the K.C. area and 'burbs' when people are so wrapped up having to pay for all their "goodies" that they cannot give to anything charitable. I'm talking money because with working 2 jobs to pay for all the goodies, it doesn't leave much time to donate their bodies!
I was talking to Tim Hange about this recently where I was railing about widows and orphans and how we seemed to have forgotten those basic 2 groups of desperately needy individuals. (Now to be sure, there are some pretty wealthy widows but they still have needs money cannot buy).
I'm starting to view church ministry as sustaining and preparing. Meaning it doesn't begin and end with the meeting. The meeting is just the way to know where you are going next and how to prepare for it. I am also keenly aware that unless you prepare well, you probably will not get a return audience. And on top of that, it doesn't hurt to have a budget to work with.
I have also noticed how much people don't know about giving. I am pro 10% for a variety of reasons but besides that it does say something about a person's heart when all their resources are devoted to just themselves. My opinion is that if one cannot give 10%, then there is something not right with the other 90. I just tripped over a soap box so I will stop there, but that is my humble opinion.
So I guess what I am saying is that I am glad I went to FPU because I know someday when I can't give my body I can give my money.
My wife is wise. Period.
She gets frustrated when she tells me this stuff for the umpteenth time and I roll my eyes. But it's not because I don't like what she has to say, it's that I totally AGREE with her and she doesn't have to convince me. :)
What I mean is, I'm so glad she's putting this out there for all her friends and family to see!!! :) I'm so glad she's expressing herself to everyone. I'm glad she's exercising good judgment and spreading it around. I see her raise money for people she doesn't know, slogging through ice, snow, then blistering heat, just so one kid might have another chance to live. THAT'S giving! I admire her so much.
Babe, I wouldn't want to run 1 mile (much less 26.2) in your shoes, but I can still appreciate it! You didn't have the money to give, so you found another way. Way to go!
-Good thoughts, Tom :-)
Jonathan-
Thanks, sweetie! You know, if we only taught our children one lesson about money I would have it be this one. I've always said "money doesn't fix everything" & I really believe that!
With all my heart I want my family to understand that "giving" is not always done from the wallet. Sure, it's FUN to do it that way...but there are so many other ways too. It seems that in our most "tight" times we have still found a way to give & I'm pretty proud of that ;-).
P.S - I'm gonna drag you into at LEAST 13.1 some day!
Amber - I truly love this blog! You and I are on the same page with this one. I too have decided that my way of giving is to run these marathons. ANd I also donate to a friend of mine that takes a mission trip every summer. She has a certain amount of money to raise to fund her trip. I help with that. And people think we are crazy for what we do...but funny now when people ask me why I keep doing this..I say I run for Charity...to help others. THanks for posting this blog and as Jonathon says.. "you are a wise woman." I admire you!
I can't wait to run that 13.1 with you and Jonathan !!! :-)
Jodi
Can't I just do a 1K?
Babe- Sorry, no 1K for you!
Jodi-
If everyone had the experience just once of doing what you have done, they might think of "giving" a little differently too. It's so much more than just the money, it's the fact that you put your heart and soul into something you care about because you believe in it!
My dad gave Neil and I The Total Money Makeover in March, and we are reading it. I get so excited about the idea of being able to give more financially in the future. It is a good reminder though that giving of our time and energy can be just (or more) meaningful.
Great thoughts Amber! I've been thinking a lot about what you wrote here and it's very good. Thanks for sharing your heart about this.
I think the last lesson was sooo good too. I admit I am glad to have FPU behind me now. I agree that even when we are NOT financially set we can still give in creative ways.
Karen-
I know most people will read what I'm saying here and jump to the conclusion that I "hate" Churches right now, but that's not it at all! I know that you know me well enough to see that what I'm sharing is simply just my heart.
Because of how I was raised I know better than to believe that the money a person gives to a Church is used for NEEDS. Most of it (like 80%) is used to pay for the building, staff salaries, and other maintenance stuff. Most Churches actually only "give" 10% (or less!) of their total budget. When you look at the numbers it amazing how much of our "giving" isn't used for what I would consider "needs based giving" at all!
My desire is to get people thinking outside of the whole 10% tithe idea. That's junk if you ask me! God called us to be givers...period! I define "giving" in lots of different ways, and I hesitate to think of it only in the "10% of my income" sense. I think that is kinda "religious", and quite frankly not very "Christian" to think of it only in those terms. I've seen lots of Christians that fail to see what true giving is because they comfort themselves with the idea that they have "already given what was their 'Christian' duty". They let their money do the giving, and their heart stays sheltered and therefore locked up! They never really see the world of needs all around them because they are simply not available to see it.
Listen to me....blah, blah, blah.... I could go on and on, but I'll stop now. I'm not really talking to YOU per se...I'm really just "talking" out loud to myself.
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