One of my favorite Christian Artists is Natalie Grant. Last year I heard a radio interview with her where she talked about this particular song (Held) & why it held so much emotion for her when she sang it. She did not write this song, but she sure identified with it. She lost her Mom much too early (when she was in her 20's), she talked candidly about how she was so hurt and angry at God, yet she clung to Him & felt His embrace during her time of grieving.
So, why am I bringing to light this song? Well, it just seems appropriate right now. I think this song gives me perspective. It gives me hope, and it has helped me focus on praying for several people in my life who are facing very difficult times right now.
While I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself over the past few weeks, I hear this song & I just can't go there. I am blessed! Really....I am. Sure we are going through a rough time in our life, but my struggles cannot compare to what I am seeing happen all around me. I'm looking into the lives of people who are facing mountains, and my "mole hill" just doesn't seem worth mentioning. I take solace in knowing this: whether my struggle is big or little....God loves me enough to hold my hand through the storm.
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This is the background info on the song:
"Christa Wells, a part-time songwriter and stay-at-home mom of three in North Carolina, wrote this song in response to two very difficult losses that happened within 48 hours. And for her, I think it must have been one of those total shake-your-fist-at-God moments where you cry, 'Why God?' These are the things in life that we cannot understand or explain, and the lyrics reflect that honesty. God didn’t promise us we’d be okay or that life would be easy. My faith does not protect me from pain, but it provides me with peace. God only promises us that when we suffer, when we’re in pain, we’ll be held in His arms through every circumstance."
Two months is too little;
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that Providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live; it’s unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.
This hand is bitterness;
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows.
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.
If hope is born of suffering,
If this is only the beginning,
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our savior?
This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.
*You can click on the title to see the music video by Natalie Grant.
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*This is something I found, that I believe came off of Natalie Grants site (though I'm not positive). At any rate, I love what this lady (Joy) had to say & I felt like it was worth passing on.
Joy Williams, my favorite singer, sent me this email recently (I hope she wouldn't mind me quoting it)...it's wonderful food for thought...
"I'm sorry you've had to deal with the loss of your mother, and there's nothing I feel like I could say to ease that pain. I just want to let you know that my heart would ache, boil, and bring me to asking the very same questions you've been asking God if I lost my mother, too. One thing that my counselor told me: God is pleased in the wrestling. Meaning, He does not get angry when we shout at Him. He does not leave though we feel like walking out. He holds on when we want to yank our hands away from His... and I believe He sees our desire to make sense of it all as a journey to knowing His Truth, His Heart. It is hard to deal with the fact that we are promised to deal with pain as long as we live on this planet, as long as we are human. But what helps me is to know that God offers total rest and restoration in Heaven, and offers Himself to get us through these days on earth. "
7 comments:
Wow, that is good. Thanks for sharing. I hope your mom is okay??
Faith-
Yes, my Mom is OK. Sorry if I got you worried there! I wrote this post in response to seeing several of my friends go through very difficult times.
I have a friend at Church who just lost her mother very suddenly, and another childhood friend who is watching her mother (a close family friend of ours) die slowly at home. There is also a Mom at McKenna's preschool that is battling breast cancer. It's very tough for me to see this young Mom, with her little bald head, bringing her kids into preschool every day. Her kids are just a few years older than mine! Every time I see her I think "that could be me", and I wonder if I could be so brave. I've also watched Karen S. go through a tough time with her mom (though it looks like her mom is winning the battle with cancer...praise God!). I feel like I'm surrounded by heartbreak all around me. It's kinda tough to keep a good perspective...you know?
I also just realized that I'm coming to that place in my life where I'm starting to see my friends lose their parents, and even their children. I think I've been wrestling with "why this happens", and the only thing that makes sense to me is knowing that God is sovereign. I really don't need to know "why" (the answer wouldn't change a thing concerning God's love for me or others)...but I do need to be open to God's embrace I do not want to harden my heart to God in the face of turmoil. I think I've made peace with the fact that God knows "why" & one day I will too.
This is good timing for this conversation. I have a friend who I have gotten close to in the last 6 months, her mom passed away one year ago this Saturday from cancer. I think I will send her the words to that song, Held, but not sure what her response will be. She is angry, and doesn't understand how a loving God can allow such suffering. That is tough, isn't it!
Woe! I have not been on your site for a while!!!! How is Chandler? In response to all the comments about death and loss and God...Mother's Day is hard for me with the loss of my son a little over nine years ago. However, I know God has a plan and I want to be a part of His plan. I know that He promises to comfort us...let me tell you....HE DOES!!!!! I never knew how good He is until I had to experience HIS comfort. My (our) part is to embrace that comfort! We tend to reject it and miss out on what He intended for us.
By the way, I got on the site today to wish you a Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!
HI Amber !! WOw...that was a great song !! I hope you had a Great Mothers day and I also hope that Chandler is feeling much much better. I am sorry I didn't read your blog sooner and know that he was so sick. Anytime you need to talk or someones shoulder to lean on ...you know you can always call me !!! Have a wonderful DAY !!!
JOdi
Joyce-
I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have lost a child. It just doesn't seem "right" when parents have to say goodbye to their children. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
This mother's day I realized (to a deeper extent) the pain that losing a child can cause. I was very sheltered from my mother's pain of losing her firstborn, because Andrea died before I was born. Most of my life it was easy for me to forget that my mom was really a mother of 4 girls...not just us 3. However, this Mother's day my mom pulled out a box of lost photos for us to look through. There were lots of pictures of Andrea...precious pictures...and I watched as my mom touched them tenderly and told us about each photo. Andrea as a baby...a little girl...on a fishing trip with grandpa...on Easter Sunday...and then of course the sick pictures :-(. Those were hard for me to see.
Andrea was about McKenna's age when she started getting really sick. For the first time I think I began to "feel" a little bit of that pain my mom felt. I was able to put myself in her shoes just for a moment & grab a glimpse of what it may have felt like for her to have to let go of her little girl too soon.
No, I don't know what it feels like to lose my little girl, but I do know what it feels like to raise one for 5.5 years. I know what it feels like to fall in love with your firstborn, to pour all of yourself into this little person & watch them blossom into the little being that God created them to be. I know how it melts your heart just to hear their little voice say "I wuv You" for the first time, and how it breaks your heart when they hurt. I know that once you become a mother your heart knows a love that is beyond words...beyond measure. Nothing in this world can compare to it, or equal it!
The loss of Andrea isn't such an abstract thing in my mind anymore. It's very real, and very heartbreaking at times. I would give anything to never see another mother grieve the loss of her precious child. But, since I can't change the past, present, or future, I'll just continue to pray that God would give to YOU and all the other grieving mother's HIS peace...the peace that passes all understanding. May God grant me that same peace should I find myself in need of it.
The fact that people like yourself and my mother can still testify to the goodness of God after being stripped of your precious ones, is nothing short of amazing. It's encourages my faith just to to hear you say "blessed be the name of the Lord". Now, that's amazing grace!
Jodi-
I'm glad you are still checking out my blog :-) Isn't that a beautiful song? In some ways it's tragic and beautiful all at the same time. I believe that is one of those "God-inspired" songs.
Chandler-well he is not so hot right now :-( But, he WAS doing much better just a day or two ago. Today he has some yucky "stomach bug" & I've already been to the laundry mat once today to wash ALL the comforters in the house. Lucky me! This too shall pass....
*Sorry I didn't get to see you this weekend. I really miss you! I did go to the run on Saturday & I even made it 7.4 miles without any problems (not too bad considering I have not run for 3 weeks!). Me, Courtney, Paula, Rob, and a few others were on the news this weekend! Katy Horner from Ch 5 came out and "ran" with us, for a little promo spot that they had on the news this weekend. They also interviewed Karl at the end. It was a short clip, but at least Karl got some media coverage!
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