Not Me, Monday!

I'm back! I've been a little behind on posting new stuff because....well....I've been busy with 4 small children & a summer that has been crazy, busy, and lots of fun! However, I had some pretty funny "Not Me's" to share this week, so here we go!

I would like to go on public record here to let everyone know that in the past week I have not bathed my children exactly ONE time. They do not have hay-like, chlorine soaked hair, and smell like fake coconuts from old sunscreen that has not been washed off since we went to the pool on SATURDAY!

I have not been feeding them nut butter sandwiches and "chips and cheese" (you might call them nachos at your house) EVERY DAY because that is all we have left in the house and I'm just too lazy to go grocery shopping.

I have not been line drying used "swimmer" pull-ups for re-use. Um, make that the SAME used swimmy pull-up for OVER a week. I have not determined it's re-usefulness by giving it the "sniff" test (if it doesn't smell like urine than it passes the test!).

I did not reward myself for getting back to the gym last week by eating pizza, Mexican, Quizno's, and copious amounts of peanut M&M's and twizzlers, and birthday cake this weekend. That kind of diet is probably counter-productive to my 1/2 marathon goal right now.

I did not pretend to ignore the fact that I saw my 3 (almost 4!) year old eat smashed skittles off the pavement at the pool the other day. Those smooshed candies did not belong to us or anyone I know!

I did not forget to bring a bra and t-shirt to the pool the last time we were there and end up having to wear my wet swimsuit top to run errands in.

I did not let my whining 3 year old bring me to the brink of insanity last week. I most certainly did not find myself screaming empty threats at her like "You are gonna eat these pancakes and LIKE them or SO. HELP. ME.......".

I did not threaten my children with bodily harm if they made a scene at the school when I went to enroll them last week. You may remember what happened the first time I went through this enrolling process.......because I sure remember!

I did not just let my 10 month old tear apart the bag that contains all my breast pump parts just so that he would be entertained while I wrote this post. I am not also slightly amused that he keeps sucking on the squishy valves to said pump like they are going to eventually supply him with some sort of nutrients & then getting angry when he gets nothing out of them.

I did not just waste way too long on this "Not Me" post and run out of time to go the gym this morning....guess it will be a night trip to the gym today.