10 years adds a little perspective.

I've been thinking a lot about what I wanted to say for my "10 Year Anniversary" post. However, I came to the conclusion that I don't really have anything profound to say, which is why I've been putting off doing a blog post about it (how's that for honesty?).

The truth is, this last decade has been the biggest, most life-changing, defining time in my entire life. Even if I live to be 100 I don't know if another decade will shape my life as profoundly as these past 10 years have. I mean, I DID get married & have all 4 of my children in the last 10 years, so that was pretty life-changing! I'm sure I have MANY more adventures on the horizon, but probably nothing quite like the first 10 years of my marriage. I'm also not naive enough to believe that I've somehow "arrived" and have things figured out either! I've still got a lifetime of learning to do!

What I do know is this; "Life never slows down or stops, it just ebbs and flows like the oceans tide". That's one of the biggest things I've learned over the last decade. I guess that's not very profound, but it's where I'm at right now.  For the longest time I kept thinking things will get easier when.... but that "when" never came! I learned to make things happen if I really, really wanted them!  I also learned that the things you want to keep, you have to fight for! Nothing is free...ever! Except for the grace of God...but that goes without saying ;-).

 These last 10 years weren't full of happy clouds and joyous singing all the time either! I went through a lot of crap that I'm happy to see gone & I hope and pray that I never have to experience those things ever again! The real truth of the matter is this: I lost a baby due to miscarriage, & that hurt me terribly. I felt the sting of rejection from close friends, and I cried. I walked down a very lonely road of discontentment and depression. I dealt with a very tough learning disability diagnosis in one of my children, and I was angry and frustrated & blamed myself for things that were out of my control.  I felt hurt and disappointed, and I tried to run away from God because I was angry. At my lowest point I even dared to speak the "D" word when my marriage got tough...but those are not the sorts of things that most people talk about are they?

But, you know what? I think we need to talk about those things from time to time. Life isn't easy & it doesn't get any easier. If we go around pretending to be "fantastic" all of the time & don't deal with these sorts of things, then what does that say about us? I could have just told you all that I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary with my wonderful husband who I am crazy in love with & left it at that. It's true too! My husband is wonderful & we are very much in love, so why talk about all the other stuff? Well, I think I'm just trying to keep it real, peeps! Sometimes that's hard to do when you are sitting behind a computer screen & you can create this artificial lens that you want people to see you through. Sometimes, I read what I write on here and think to myself: "Well, that smells a little bit like rosey poo doesn't it?".

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...the one thing I admire most in a person is honesty! So, I guess it would behoove me to keep it real with myself as well! The real truth is, I'm really doing this whole blogging thing for me & my family. The fact that I'm putting it out there for the rest of the world to read just keeps me in line (OK...OK...and it's kinda fun to share some of this stuff with you all!).  If I'm gonna take the time to write out my feelings and talk about my memories, then I better be real about what I'm saying and what I'm feeling!

OK. Enough with all that "keeping it real" crap! I promise I won't put you through that too often ;-) In the spirit of more traditional blog posts, I give you:

My Ten Year, Top 10!

(My 10 reasons why being married this long is awesome! aka "The first 10 things that popped into my head about being married for the last 10 years" )

1.) I no longer feel embarrassed when I "let one loose".  After all the other things my husband has seen me through...that one just doesn't seem to compare anymore.

2.) He finally knows a few of my favorite things!

3.) We really do appreciate the little things more and more.

4.) He can "speak for me"...and most of the time he is right on!

5.) We fight a LOT less than we used to.

6.) "Desperation is the mother of creativity"...and we have become pretty creative people ;-)

7.) He tells me I'm beautiful all the time! Despite the fact that I've had 4 babies, bare the marks of one who has had 4 babies, am reaching "that age" when things start to slide to the south and wrinkle, and I regularly get into cat fights with my jeans. Yes, despite all of that he still tells me I'm beautiful!  

8.) We still like each other! No, really...that's a big one! There are plenty of married folks who don't appear to like each other very much. We still enjoy each other & can't wait to be together every day.

9.) We keep our mouth shut when we are supposed to! You know, not every little thing should be shared with ones mate...and we have finally learned this fine art of common sense communication. It's a thing of beauty, really!

10.) Yes.....it only gets better! (I'll leave the "it" open to interpretation...but I definitely mean one specific thing!)