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It was late. Everyone had left the hospital & I was all alone holding my firstborn in my arms & drinking in her beauty. I counted her toes, ran my fingers through her soft baby hairs, and kissed her chubby little cheeks. As I stared at her angelic little sleeping face I whispered to her: "I'm your Mommy...and...I love you SO much".
I think it was the very first time in my life that I felt such a deep, intense love for someone like that. Right after I whispered those words into her tiny little ears I gently pressed my forehead to hers & the tears just came streaming down my cheeks, soaking her tiny little tummy! It was as if someone had just released a dam that was holding a thousand years worth of tears & now they were all coming at once. I was so overcome with with love for my firstborn that I couldn't hold back the emotion, and the tears just seemed to flow effortlessly, soaking my tiny little babe in salty wet raindrops of pure unbridled love. It was one of the most awesome emotions I have ever felt in my entire life & it was as if someone had just awakened a new depth of understanding in my soul.
As I sat there sobbing love-filled tears that soaked my baby's little white hospital shirt, I wondered "Is this how the Lord feels about me". The thought kinda scared me at first! Surely not!! I don't deserve to have the Lord of the universe feel this for me... do I?? That's when it occurred to me that the whole reason He calls himself my "father" is because when He looks at me He DOES feel this sort of indescribable love for me. Nothing I could ever do or say would be able to separate me from that love that Jesus says He has for me! What an AWESOME thought!
I hope if you are reading this you take a moment today to feel God's love being poured all over you. Because I know that when He looks down at us, His beautiful children, He aches with a love for us that is so strong that our finite little minds cannot even comprehend it. In fact, the first time I started to tap into understanding that kind of love I was so overcome by it that I couldn't stop crying (happy tears of course!). Now that's a love that can only come from a savior that loved us so much that he would lay down His very own life for us :-). Oh, how He does indeed LOVE us!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWgeUrD4MHI
2 comments:
I am sure you probably don't remember this but years ago (when you were in hs) our youth group was in Mexico and I had left Evan for the first time, he was about 6 months old. We were witnessing door to door and as I shared the gospel I started bawling and I couldn't stop. It was because I was talking about how God loved us so much that He gave up his son-- and suddenly I knew how hard that must have been, and how much He does love us. Being a parent to my son gave me such a new perspective! Sorry for the long response, but I wanted to share it cause yeah, I get what you are saving completely. :)
Thanks for sharing....at least I know someone out there knows what I'm trying to say :-). Everyone else probably still thinks I'm crazy.
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