Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Why I Run.

**********WARNING...THIS IS A LONG POST**********
This has been the topic of conversation among a runners group that I chat on-line with & I thought it might be appropriate to post my feelings over here on my personal blog.

Let me start off by saying that my reasons and feelings towards running have changed dramatically since I started running last year. Initially I started running because I needed an escape from my hectic life at home with three little kids clinging to me day and night. I was inspired by a story I saw about a father who did triathlons with his disabled son in tow & I thought..."I want to do that". I guess you could say I'm more than a little impressionable if I decided to go run a marathon after watching a news story. LOL! However, that story changed my thinking in a huge way.

Once I decided to actually sign up and start training for the marathon, things were not as "glamorous" as I had pictured & I had to keep finding new reasons to keep going. That's about the time I finished my first half-marathon & I knew I loved this sport! It was one of the hardest things I had ever done & I began to believe I really was capable of more than I thought. Then my kids started to notice what I was doing & they started to emulate me (running around the park saying "look mommy...I'm a runner!") & I thought "hey, maybe I really am making a difference with this whole crazy marathon thing".

I was also running for a "cause" & that kept me focused on something outside of myself. I wasn't just training and running to achieve something for myself (although there was a tremendous amount of satisfaction from my achievement), I was part of a bigger picture. I began to see that as my purpose and ultimate goal for doing what I was doing. I liked that I was able to inspire other people to see themselves differently...as capable of doing MORE! People saw me as an average person doing something "not-so-average", and I think they began to think twice about their own abilities. I can't tell you how many times my friends have said "I could NEVER do what you are doing"...and to that I always say "Oh, YES you could!". I really believe that!

Throughout my very short running career, I've been asked many times "why do you do this?", "how do you do what you do?", and "don't you ever get sick of running?". To answer those questions I just simply say "You always find time to do the things you love". I guess that's what's at the heart of what I'm feeling now. I didn't start off "loving" the sport of running...it was a slow (and very painful) transformation. I started off trying to challenge myself to do something I thought was impossible for me to do. Once I saw that I could do it, I found a new respect for myself and my body that began to change my thinking for good. I can say for certain that I'll never think of myself the same way again.

Some things have not changed about "why" I run. I still love to run because it gets me out of the house & away from my "mommy" world for a few hours each week. I also still love the challenge of it! While running may be getting more "comfortable", it's still not "easy" for me & I sorta like that. I like that I have to work for it! Where would the fun be if there was no challenge? I think we all tend to gravitate toward something that challenges us, we need that...we crave that. It's also one of those things that I can always work on. I'll probably never be a Boston qualifier, but I can always work on a new PR. Plus, the longer I run, the better I feel about this "mommy body" of mine-LOL!

The biggest surprise I've encountered in my running career has been the fact that I never thought I would have such a great time doing this! I've met so many awesome friends as a result of my involvement in the running world. These days, my running friends are what keep me going. They call me, e-mail me, laugh with me, cry with me & keep me focused on my goals. When I entered this community of people I entered a whole new family..so to speak. THEY are what I love the most about running. You really can beat running on picturesque autumn morning with a group of great friends! We keep each others minds off of the pain of running by talking, sharing our stories, laughing, and making future plans together. It's a unique camaraderie you won't find anywhere else...and I'm so lucky to be a part of it :-).

Of course, I also love that my children want to grow up to be "runners" too! I sincerely hope I live to see the day that I can run a marathon with my kids :-). I'm positive that as time passes, I'll find more reasons, different reasons, to continue running, but I'll always love the reasons why I started. It's sort of like remembering where you came from...you will always feel a special connection to your "roots". No matter what happens with my running career in the future, I'll always have my past memories close to my heart.

My first marathon finish!

4 comments:

Faith said...

I can relate to a lot of what you say. Many of those reasons are my "why" for doing Arbonne. I believe that by having something else to focus on besides "just" motherhood makes me a better mom. I admire you for going out and challenging yourself, what an awesome gift to yourself and your family.

Anonymous said...

I'm finding as I read this that I need to get a hobby. I have so dropped out of everything in life these days that I seem to be becoming a hermit. hmmm. .

Actually, Amber, I really COULDNT do what you are doing. There is just no way! I'm so proud of what you are doing and how you hold up with what life throws your way!!

Amber said...

Faith-
I couldn't agree more! I really believe that the best, most "well rounded" mothers are the ones who don't neglect THEIR needs! Just like we shouldn't/wouldn't put our children before our husbands, we should not do that with ourselves.

I spent too many years serving everyone but myself, and I was not a very happy person living that way. I don't think everyone has to run a marathon to find themselves...but you should be doing something that brings "life" to your spirit ;-). It's not selfish to do something for yourself...it's just plain smart!

Amber said...

Karen-
YES...you could do what I'm doing! Trust me...I've seen too many "unlikely" people cross the finish line of a marathon to believe that someone could NOT do this if they really wanted to. It has everything to do with the will to finish & not just athletic ability. Half of the marathon "battle" is about mental strength...not just physical strength. That much I know is true!

I understand WHY most people don't want to do what I'm doing (it's a huge sacrifice)...but if I can do this...so could you! Let me remind you that I had NEVER run farther than 1 mile when I started this endeavor 15 months ago ;-)...

Sometimes I don't get dressed for the day until 5:00...pm, and on the weekend I let my kids eat cookies for breakfast. I drank coffee (and sometimes diet coke) when I was pregnant. I use under eye concealer to cover up my zits & I bake when I'm stressed. If you can deal with all that....then welcome to our family blog!