I'm not trying to ignore my blog, and it's really not that I've been too busy to update it...I've just been trying to decide what it is I want to write about. I've had lots of things on my mind lately, but I'm not always so sure I should just blurt them out (darn maturity catching up with me!). Even though this is my blog & I can certainly say anything I want, I still want to be careful...you know?
I've also decided that it's high time I got my booty back in the gym & the treadmill has been kicking my butt for the last two weeks-yikes! So...between doing all this deep thinking and working out, I've kinda sacrificed my afternoon computer time & what time I do have left has been going to stupid facebook! I think I have a love/hate relationship going on there.
However, I'm getting ready to celebrate my 9th wedding anniversary next week, so I promise to take pictures of my wonderful hubby and I & share with you my thoughts on what 9 years of marriage has taught me. I've even updated my blog background in honor of my upcoming anniversary. You know you love all the cute little hearts ;-).
Oh, and I've GOT to get some video clips of Mr. Judah waking up in the morning. It's probably the cutest thing EVER! He "talks" to himself & blows "raspberries" over and over and over. It's so stinkin' cute! As soon as I catch him doing it again I'll grab the camera, because you must, must, must gush with me over the cuteness of this little boy-hehe!
That's all for now-
Peace!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
It's 10 am...
...and I am about to fall asleep on my keyboard I'm so tired. The baby was up all night, Maya puked before bed & Jonathan was sick for the two days before. I'm so tired of sickness. I'm so tired of messes to clean. I'm so exhausted that I feel like it's hard to form a clear sentence (which probably means I should not be blogging right now!). However, I have to get up every morning and go on with my life. So, with my coffee cup in hand I feed kids, dress kids, kiss their boo boos, get them off to school, clean up messes, calm a crying baby, find a cure for a tummy ache, pour another cup of coffee, and wait for the dawn of a new day. It's on days like this that I remind myself that sometimes it's the littlest of victories that I have to look for and celebrate. Today that victory is that I got my cranky 3 month old to fall asleep right on cue for his 10 am nap. Now....I think I'll go try to do the same ;-)
*In case you are wondering, there was no real point to this post. I'm just hiding from my three year old right now, so I thought I'd do a quick post-ha!
*In case you are wondering, there was no real point to this post. I'm just hiding from my three year old right now, so I thought I'd do a quick post-ha!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Random thoughts...
I've had several random thought swirling through my mind the last couple of days, so I thought I'd write about them on my blog. I've kinda gotten away from that lately, and I think every once in a while I need to just "spill" stuff here.
One of the biggest things on my mind lately is how slow my life seems right now. My calendar is bare, my schedule basically goes like this: Wake up...feed kids...take kids to school....clean...feed....clean....feed.....feed...clean....pick kids up....cook...clean....go to bed around 1:00 am. Rinse, wash, repeat. Now, this is my fourth child, so I know that these are just the slow and sleepless "newborn days", and life and all it's wonderful chaos will pick up again soon. However, it's in these moments of quiet, these still and uneventful days that I find surprising clarity. It's funny how when you let yourself slow down you start seeing things in a much different light.
One thing that has struck me lately is our need to keep busy. Everyone around me is working two jobs, taking their kids to 10 different sports, involved in the PTA, Church groups, city council boards, charity groups, "awareness" groups, advocacy groups, and the list goes on and on. We are too busy to see life passing us by. Too busy to sit down and eat a meal together. Too busy to notice that life is sometimes too short...and then it's over. It's morbid...I know, but I can't stop wondering why everyone wants to be so busy. Why are we so afraid to slow down sometimes?
I AM NOT saying it's wrong to be involved in your Church, school, community, etc. I have done, and will do, those things again in the future. In fact, I believe it's very important to be involved in your community and to always find a way to give back to others. I'm not saying we should never take time to do any of those things, but I do wonder why we feel like we have to do everything at the same time.
Is it just my generation? It seems like my generation has a hard time being patient for the next step in their lives, so we try to push things forward. We want the big house our parents have (even though our parents are 25-30 years older than us), so we borrow more than we should, work two jobs to pay for it, feel guilty about working two jobs so we find activities to keep the kids busy while we work. We are overspent, overstretched, and way too obsessed with having it all. We don't just want what are parents have, we want more of it, and we want it to be better. How many times have you heard someone say "I just want my kids to have more than I had"?
In my late night pondering, I've wondered what kind of message we are really sending to our children. Do I want more for my kids than what I had? Sure! But, there is also a big part of me that wants my children to understand that "having it all" doesn't make you happy. Happiness is so much a state of mind. As I write this sentence I am sitting at my messy, cheap, Wal-Mart computer desk, in my teensy little home with barely enough room for my expanding family, but I can say with all my heart that I am happy. My kids don't play any sports, take music lessons, or have one single extra-curricular activity, but I believe they are happy too.
In the slowness of these toddler days I'm defining what I want my future to look like & I want to remember this blog post 5 years from now when life is much more busy than it is right now. I never want my life to be defined by how full my calendar is, but rather by how full my heart is. I want to remember to only dedicate myself to those things that are life-giving, and that bring joy. If you don't love it...don't do it. That's my motto at least.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, I guess you could say that's my "New Year's resolution"...to dedicate myself to the things that bring me and my family true happiness and fulfillment.
These boring ramblings were brought to you by Amber.
Some other very random things that have been on my mind:
-What's up with everyone painting their finger nails dark gothy colors? It wasn't pretty in the early 90's, and guess what...it still isn't!
-Is anyone else tired of the word "green" or "footprint"....because I am! I'm making a vow to go burn some tires in my backyard very soon because I'm so sick of hearing those words.
-Why is everyone so addicted to texting? Are we that afraid of human contact, that we can't talk to people anymore so we have to text them?
-Am I the last person on the planet to NOT have a "texting plan" on my cell phone?
-Does anyone else feel the urge to eat a big ol' salad while watching "The Biggest Loser"? I think that show is going to spur some sort of "Healthy Dinner Tuesday's" at many local eatery's. I know that it's going to be water and carrot sticks for me every Tuesday from now on.
*It's 1:00 am now...time for bed.
-Peace
One of the biggest things on my mind lately is how slow my life seems right now. My calendar is bare, my schedule basically goes like this: Wake up...feed kids...take kids to school....clean...feed....clean....feed.....feed...clean....pick kids up....cook...clean....go to bed around 1:00 am. Rinse, wash, repeat. Now, this is my fourth child, so I know that these are just the slow and sleepless "newborn days", and life and all it's wonderful chaos will pick up again soon. However, it's in these moments of quiet, these still and uneventful days that I find surprising clarity. It's funny how when you let yourself slow down you start seeing things in a much different light.
One thing that has struck me lately is our need to keep busy. Everyone around me is working two jobs, taking their kids to 10 different sports, involved in the PTA, Church groups, city council boards, charity groups, "awareness" groups, advocacy groups, and the list goes on and on. We are too busy to see life passing us by. Too busy to sit down and eat a meal together. Too busy to notice that life is sometimes too short...and then it's over. It's morbid...I know, but I can't stop wondering why everyone wants to be so busy. Why are we so afraid to slow down sometimes?
I AM NOT saying it's wrong to be involved in your Church, school, community, etc. I have done, and will do, those things again in the future. In fact, I believe it's very important to be involved in your community and to always find a way to give back to others. I'm not saying we should never take time to do any of those things, but I do wonder why we feel like we have to do everything at the same time.
Is it just my generation? It seems like my generation has a hard time being patient for the next step in their lives, so we try to push things forward. We want the big house our parents have (even though our parents are 25-30 years older than us), so we borrow more than we should, work two jobs to pay for it, feel guilty about working two jobs so we find activities to keep the kids busy while we work. We are overspent, overstretched, and way too obsessed with having it all. We don't just want what are parents have, we want more of it, and we want it to be better. How many times have you heard someone say "I just want my kids to have more than I had"?
In my late night pondering, I've wondered what kind of message we are really sending to our children. Do I want more for my kids than what I had? Sure! But, there is also a big part of me that wants my children to understand that "having it all" doesn't make you happy. Happiness is so much a state of mind. As I write this sentence I am sitting at my messy, cheap, Wal-Mart computer desk, in my teensy little home with barely enough room for my expanding family, but I can say with all my heart that I am happy. My kids don't play any sports, take music lessons, or have one single extra-curricular activity, but I believe they are happy too.
In the slowness of these toddler days I'm defining what I want my future to look like & I want to remember this blog post 5 years from now when life is much more busy than it is right now. I never want my life to be defined by how full my calendar is, but rather by how full my heart is. I want to remember to only dedicate myself to those things that are life-giving, and that bring joy. If you don't love it...don't do it. That's my motto at least.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, I guess you could say that's my "New Year's resolution"...to dedicate myself to the things that bring me and my family true happiness and fulfillment.
These boring ramblings were brought to you by Amber.
Some other very random things that have been on my mind:
-What's up with everyone painting their finger nails dark gothy colors? It wasn't pretty in the early 90's, and guess what...it still isn't!
-Is anyone else tired of the word "green" or "footprint"....because I am! I'm making a vow to go burn some tires in my backyard very soon because I'm so sick of hearing those words.
-Why is everyone so addicted to texting? Are we that afraid of human contact, that we can't talk to people anymore so we have to text them?
-Am I the last person on the planet to NOT have a "texting plan" on my cell phone?
-Does anyone else feel the urge to eat a big ol' salad while watching "The Biggest Loser"? I think that show is going to spur some sort of "Healthy Dinner Tuesday's" at many local eatery's. I know that it's going to be water and carrot sticks for me every Tuesday from now on.
*It's 1:00 am now...time for bed.
-Peace
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