Swing Sets, Swimming Pools, and Sonic!

Going along with this "Season Of Change" we are currently experiencing, the time had come for the backyard to experience some "change" as well :-). This past Sunday marked 6 years in the old "White Manor", and I'm proud to say we finally have something for the kids to play on in the backyard. Yes, it took us 6 years to buy a swing set!

After nearly going INSANE last year because the kids were climbing the walls 24/7, I swore that would be the last summer we went without a swing set (and we all know how I am about those promises-LOL!). SO.....I had a garage sale a few weeks ago & I let go of nearly every baby item I own!!! Yep, I sold about 95% of my baby gear, and ALL of the baby clothes. It was bittersweet letting go of it all, but it was the only way I could make enough $$$ for my kids to get that new swing set. If I was having a hard time letting go of something I just told myself it was all for a good cause (and my future sanity).

In the end we made a good chunk of change, and I was able to find a really nice set that we could finally afford. Of course, Jonathan had to "assemble" (aka: "build") the fort/swing set, which turned out to be quite an adventure in and of itself. Let's just say that swing set is staying here should we ever move!

*I think my sanity should be in tact by the end of this summer....don't you?

Jonathan had lots of "help" putting the swing set together :-)

After two weeks at summer school (on the BIG playground), McKenna has become a pro at swinging all by herself.

My one criteria for the new swing set was that it HAD to have a big slide (and a fort)! For this reason :-)


Maya LOVES to swing....ALL. THE. TIME!

Channy is just trying to figure out how to swing straight-LOL!

*I guess I don't have any pictures of the WHOLE swing set...I'll have to take one :-)


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To celebrate getting our new backyard "ornament", I took the kids to Sonic for our first "taste of the summer" experience. It was a blast watching them look over the ENTIRE menu before ordering. Of course we had to eat some of our ice cream IN the car (because that's just what you do at Sonic) before we took it home. I had so much fun watching them that night. They would go from eating their ice cream as fast as they could, to taking turns doing silly things down the slide, and then running back to the porch for a quick dip in the kiddie pool before they would repeat the whole process over and over again. By the end of the night the slide had sticky ice cream steaks all up and down it, and the kiddie pool was half grass/half water,...it was a hoot! As I cleaned up the ice cream cups, hosed off the slide, and drained the little pool, I laughed as I said to myself "this is what summertime is all about...swimming pools, swing sets and SONIC!".

The haircut.

Ok, so this s NOT the best picture, but I knew I had to post something before I got in trouble with all my faithful blog readers-LOL! So, here is a picture Tricia took of me after we had been laying out for two hours. I'm sweaty, and the shadows make me look like I have a "root" problem (which I don't....just paid good $$$ to get that fixed!)...but here it is :-)


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*Jodi- notice I'm not posting this after midnight ;-) Tell me you're so proud-hehe!

A Season Of Change!

After watching my husband work a crazy 24/7, 365, INSANE work schedule for the past 3 years....it's finally OVER! Jonathan GOT A NEW JOB!

For those of you who have been close to our family over the past couple of years, you know how HUGE this news is to our family. Jonathan has always worked over 40 hours at his job, but he never got paid any over-time. He managed an entire hotel (the IT stuff) by himself, and never had anyone who could help him out. It made our life SO stressful, because we felt like life was always on hold. He could hardly work a second job, because he was always on call at his first job. He worked holidays, weekends, and in the middle of the night! Whenever that cell phone rang...he was back to work! There was no such thing as a vacation either! He was even called into work the day our third child was born....nothing was sacred. Not to mention the two trips to the ER for health-related stress problems. I was beginning to think this job was going to kill my husband.

I tried to be patient and supportive through all of this, because I really didn't have any other choice. It was awful to see the kind of stress that he was under, and even worse when I saw that he was never really appreciated. It's so hard to see someone you love make huge sacrifices & then not get anything in return. It's heartbreaking!

However, God did see! How quickly I forget that God sees everything! Back when I wrote about "El Roi" (the God Who Sees), you can bet I was also thinking of my husband & his work situation. However, it's amazing to me, even stunning, how quickly I FORGET! It's seems like we had prayed SO LONG for Jonathan to find new work, that we started to forget that God's timing is not always our timing. We had several ups & downs in the job search, and I began to "not get my hopes up"...not even when things looked good. I have to admit that I stayed quite "numb" through this recent job inquiry, even when it looked "good", because I didn't want to feel any more disappointment.

Now, for the good news...

Jonathan will be working for a bank! A BANK (*although THE bank will remain nameless for now)! 10 Federal Holiday's a year...PLUS 15 vacation days (what are those?). Since the beginning of our marriage Jonathan has never, I repeat, NEVER had this sort of luxury! It's almost too much to process. I wanted to cry tonight when my neighbor said "now you can be a family!". He's right!! Jon will only be on call once every 5 weeks, and the kicker...HE WILL BE PAID OVERTIME when he is on-call! We haven't been familiar with that term since the good old SPRINT era ;-).

There are some things I will miss about the Hotel though. Jonathan did work with some great people, and I will miss getting to see them & be connected with their lives. There is always a bit of sadness when you have to move on, and I will always remember the good things about his Sheraton job. Like the $49 hotel rooms anywhere in the US, our awesome $420 King-size Sheraton "Sweet Sleeper" bed, and the free food :-)

I'm positive that God placed Jonathan at the hotel for a reason. I'm also certain that He has a plan to use that time in our lives to learn and grow us for bigger and better things ahead. So as not to sound "unthankful", I want to praise God for sustaining us over the last few years. I am thankful that my husband had a job, and worked so hard to support our family. God really is good...all the time.

If you read all of this, give yourself a pat on the back. This was really cathartic to be able to "vent" and let go of this tension I've had bottled up. I think I'm just now letting myself believe that I may get to have my husband back in my life now. I'm still in some state of disbelief, but I'll get there....I'll get there.

Praise be to God!

Mixed Update...

Well, it looks like life is getting back to "normal" (whatever that is?).

This past Saturday I finally got to go on a nice long run with some friends (10 miles...woohoo!)
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Jonathan turned 33 on Saturday & we FINALLY got a night out! (But, not without a hitch! Maya had an accident at Grandma and Grandpa's house & skinned her face up on the driveway pretty bad! BUT, G-ma & G-pa took care of her and we didn't have to make any trips to the ER-whew!)
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Grandma hit the jackpot at garage sales last Saturday & got ...Not ONE

Not TWO...

But...THREE new bikes for the kids! They had a blast riding bike this weekend!

Thanks Nana!
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*Oh, and I cut all my hair off today! Not Britney Spears style, but close enough for me :-). I got a good 7-8 inches cut off today. I'll take pictures soon...

Our "Little Graduate"

McKenna is growing up.....moving on to the Big "K" next year (sniff).


*We are "bad" parents because we forgot to get a close up of her in her cute little hat!


This is McKenna with her teachers. She LOVED Miss Gay & Miss Gina SO much!

*I have to take a minute to say what a blessing it was to be able to send McKenna to this preschool program for the past two years . After being in the program for two years, McKenna has made several "best" friends & I think her experience there has prepared her very well for Kindergarten this fall.

One other blessing that has come from McKenna's time at LL is that she asked Jesus into her heart! She said she prayed with Miss Gay on the last day of school and asked Jesus into her heart. It was so sweet how she told Jon and I this good news with such excitement! I know she is only 5...but I think that she is really starting to understand salvation in a more concrete way these days. What a wonderful way to end the school year!

This is why I love running...

...you just never know what might happen when your out on a long run!


Karl...or "Koach Karl" (as he is known among the TNT folks) was my coach when I trained for the Disney marathon. If you have talked to me AT ALL in the last month then you have heard me talk about "Relentless For A Cure". Karl set out to complete 26 marathons in 26 days (yes, he is crazy!), to raise $$$ and awareness for TNT & the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Except for a little injury that sidelined him for a week (he had to stop running for one week), Karl has continued to tackle his crazy mission. Today was day number 23 of "Relentless" and here is what Karl had to say about his 16th Marathon this month...



Day 23:


"The following is not for the politically correct.What a fun and diverse day we had at the 39th Street Starbucks. Jeff Quint ran the full with me today; it has been about two years since we have run together. He left me for a woman and got married. So, it was fun to spend some time together and see the downtown sites. The first 6 were pretty uneventful, and except for the security guard with a walker, we felt very safe. Our next 7 miles we picked up Glynnis and headed for the Hood, east on 39th past Troost, Paseo and Wabash.. all stars of the local news. We got some really interesting looks, but it was funny. The best, though--we were stopped at a corner and a police officer rolled by. We waved, and he waved back and gave us the strangest look as if to say "Are you crazy?" All three of us laughed for the next block. We witnessed what we think was an eviction in progress--two police cars in front, along with two people outside shaking a piece of paper and a man behind a barred door refusing to come out. We dropped off Glynnis and went west to Rainbow and south to Shawnee Mission Pkwy, to the upper crust, so in about a six mile radius we went from the slums to the snobs. Then, it was east on 39th again to Main, where we were offered sex. We couldn't hear her well so I said "What?" and she repeated "Do you want to have sex with me?" Jeff and I thought she was just a little too forward; she should start maybe with some coffee and go from there, so we ventured on. As we were getting close to the end, someone preached to us, I think… we weren't really sure… it was a bunch of mumbling but we heard "The Bible" a few times in there. But the best came at the end when we were about 100 yards out. We saw what I would call a "crack whore" sitting on a bench cheering, "Here come the runners!" We looked over to see her smile wide, with no front teeth, and I think it scarred us for life. So that was my day.Our time was 5:49… talk to you tomorrow." -K2



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Everyone...meet "Koach Karl". He really loves having his picture taken! So, you can imagine how much I was annoying him by snapping all sorts of pictures of him while he was running marathon #14 this past Monday :-).

Only 6 miles left!


Karl has started each marathon from a different Starbucks location in the KC area. Monday was at the Lee's Summit/291 location.
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I volunteered to work a marathon this past Monday & it really got me in the "running spirit" again! It's been at least a month since I've been to the gym (I was sick...the kids were sick...blah!), so now you can imagine what sort of "running fever" I'm going through. I've gone to three "Relentless" marathons this month & each time I've wished that I could be out there running the full with Karl (OK...maybe not on the rainy days...but all the other days I wanted to go running-LOL!). I can honestly say that this is one of the best parts of my life right now. I LOVE being a part of TNT! It's just such a great organization, that you can't help but love it! It also feels good to do something "outside of yourself" sometimes. The running part may be a little selfish now, because I love to run (I didn't used to love it so much). However, volunteering and fundraising is really becoming a passion of mine...because I love the cause!

Chandler update.

Two words.... STILL SICK! I took him back to the Dr yesterday & he STILL has an ear infection in his left ear. We started the SECOND round of antibiotics, so hopefully that will do the trick. He missed most of the school week last week because he caught some tummy bug from his sister & spent two days vomiting till he lost so much weight his little pants are now loose.

Can anyone bring summer to my house a little earlier?


*I'm signing up for another marathon soon just to get a break from all of this!

A favorite quote.

" The moment we begin to fear the opinion of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls."

-Elizabeth Cady Stanton

*The #1 quality I desire to possess is honesty. It's a hard thing to pursue, because it's not so popular these days, and it's hard to balance honesty with tact at times (for me). I still don't have this quality perfected...but I'm pursuing it :-)

A few months ago I saw this quote and have carried it in my car or purse ever since. I want to remind myself to be honest with MYSELF at all times. We all have a unique path to follow & everyone is not always going to agree with us, but I think that's a GOOD thing. I don't want to hesitate to be who I am just because someone else may be different than me....you know? I want to follow after that unique mission that God has placed on my heart, even when it's hard to step out and do something hard because no one else sees things quite the same as me.

What's your favorite quote?

Maya's surgery...

OK, so it was a month ago, but I've been just a little busy. Anyway.... Maya had hernia surgery back in April & things went very well. This was our first experience at "Children's" & I have to say it was a GREAT first experience. The nurses were all very sweet & they even somehow talked Maya into willingly following them to the surgery suite...without her mommy!


This is Maya in the pre-op area with mom. She was really enjoying having some "alone time" with mommy and daddy :-).

Maya has some pretty sophisticated taste in footwear...and these yellow hospital socks DID NOT meet her expectations!

She LOVED driving the little toy cars up and down the halls of the pre-op area. She even tripped a nurse or two by swinging the little door open right as they would pass by! (Notice the maroon socks...apparently that color was slightly more acceptable.)

Chillin' in recovery with mom.

*You can see the little red incision in the middle of her tummy. It's a pretty small scar, and so far it doesn't seem to bother her too much.

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I'll have to do a post soon about Maya's "shoe obsession". It's pretty funny & it may shed some light on the whole "sock preference" thing. If there is one thing my little girly is picky about it would be her footwear!

Keep Praying....

I'm SOOOOO tired of being sick!

At 4:30 this morning Chandler woke me up by handing me his puke-covered spider man, while saying "help, mommy". (Sigh) He has been vomiting ALLLLL day long! His little body is weak and tired & I just want to sit on the floor and cry with him :*( .

We have NEVER EVER had so much sickness in our house in one year (let alone this much in 3-4 months!). I just don't know what to do. I've cleaned every door knob, switch plate, toilet, floor, and sink in my house! I even took all the comforters to the laundromat today!

*When I have time I'll update with something more interesting.......

HELD

One of my favorite Christian Artists is Natalie Grant. Last year I heard a radio interview with her where she talked about this particular song (Held) & why it held so much emotion for her when she sang it. She did not write this song, but she sure identified with it. She lost her Mom much too early (when she was in her 20's), she talked candidly about how she was so hurt and angry at God, yet she clung to Him & felt His embrace during her time of grieving.

So, why am I bringing to light this song? Well, it just seems appropriate right now. I think this song gives me perspective. It gives me hope, and it has helped me focus on praying for several people in my life who are facing very difficult times right now.

While I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself over the past few weeks, I hear this song & I just can't go there. I am blessed! Really....I am. Sure we are going through a rough time in our life, but my struggles cannot compare to what I am seeing happen all around me. I'm looking into the lives of people who are facing mountains, and my "mole hill" just doesn't seem worth mentioning. I take solace in knowing this: whether my struggle is big or little....God loves me enough to hold my hand through the storm.
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This is the background info on the song:

"Christa Wells, a part-time songwriter and stay-at-home mom of three in North Carolina, wrote this song in response to two very difficult losses that happened within 48 hours. And for her, I think it must have been one of those total shake-your-fist-at-God moments where you cry, 'Why God?' These are the things in life that we cannot understand or explain, and the lyrics reflect that honesty. God didn’t promise us we’d be okay or that life would be easy. My faith does not protect me from pain, but it provides me with peace. God only promises us that when we suffer, when we’re in pain, we’ll be held in His arms through every circumstance."

HELD

Two months is too little;
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that Providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live; it’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.

This hand is bitterness;
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows.
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.

If hope is born of suffering,
If this is only the beginning,
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our savior?

This is what it means to be held,
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive…
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held.

*You can click on the title to see the music video by Natalie Grant.
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*This is something I found, that I believe came off of Natalie Grants site (though I'm not positive). At any rate, I love what this lady (Joy) had to say & I felt like it was worth passing on.

Joy Williams, my favorite singer, sent me this email recently (I hope she wouldn't mind me quoting it)...it's wonderful food for thought...

"I'm sorry you've had to deal with the loss of your mother, and there's nothing I feel like I could say to ease that pain. I just want to let you know that my heart would ache, boil, and bring me to asking the very same questions you've been asking God if I lost my mother, too. One thing that my counselor told me: God is pleased in the wrestling. Meaning, He does not get angry when we shout at Him. He does not leave though we feel like walking out. He holds on when we want to yank our hands away from His... and I believe He sees our desire to make sense of it all as a journey to knowing His Truth, His Heart. It is hard to deal with the fact that we are promised to deal with pain as long as we live on this planet, as long as we are human. But what helps me is to know that God offers total rest and restoration in Heaven, and offers Himself to get us through these days on earth. "

Here we go again!

One of these days I'm going to post some GOOD NEWS, I promise! But...today is not that day. Tonight, I'm asking all of you (my 4 blog readers) to please pray for my little Channy-guy. He has been sick for about two weeks & instead of getting better he is just getting worse!

*It started off a few weekends ago with a little cough and a runny nose. Then the cough got worse and worse. Last Monday (the 30th) he started running a mild fever, and the cough turned into a deep seal-like bark. I took him to the Dr. on Wednesday (the 2nd), and his oxygen levels were at 90%-YIKES! After a LONG afternoon at the Drs office doing breathing treatments, getting steroids, and having an x-ray done, we found out he has pneumonia. The x-ray also showed some "markings" that strongly suggest he has asthma (not a huge surprise there).

We went home on Wednesday with a Rx for antibiotics, and more asthma meds. The Dr said "He should be feeling like himself by Friday". Well, Friday came and he was running a 104 fever that night! Now it's Sunday night & he is STILL sick!

This is the toughest job I have as a mommy. I hate seeing my kids sick. When you are trying everything you know to help them feel better and it doesn't work, it's just devastating ;-(. Just tonight Chandler came up to me and tugged on my pant leg just to tell me "Mommy....I have cough...I so sick". It about made me cry! He is such a little trooper, you would never know just by looking at him that he was THAT sick. He is still trying to play & be himself, but I can tell this is really taking a toll on his little body.

So, if you wouldn't mind, could you please pray for my little guy. I think we will end up back at the Drs office tomorrow, so I'll try to update as soon as I can.

Thanks!

A time to grieve...

Lately it seems like everywhere I turn I am crossing paths with hurting people. It seems that this seems to be a "season of grief" for so many around me. This past Friday one of my friends lost her mother too early, and very unexpectedly. Also in the same week my family received some very bad news about a close family friend that is dying of cancer (also too young to be leaving us), and only has a few weeks to live. Not to mention that last week started with the Virginia Tech shootings. So much unbelievable hurt & loss all in the same week....it got thinking and praying.

In times like these the one thing that I've learned NOT to do is question the goodness of God. Why? Because I believe that God is good. Without God...goodness would not exist. These people we love and cherish would not be "good" if God was not good. If God was not love, then love would cease to exist. So, who am I to challenge the goodness of God? Without God & His infinite wisdom and power I would not know such love. Am I making any sense?

I know there is not going to be an answer that I can comprehend with my human mind to all of the "why?" questions out there. In times like these I've learned to just pray for peace...for hope...for comfort. My heart just aches for all of the hurt and loss that burdens those who I love and care about. No...it just doesn't seem fair. However, I know that God is just...and one day we will have the answers to all the "why questions". Since those answers won't come this side of heaven I'll continue to pray for peace right now.

"On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wines. On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers all nations; he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken."
-Isaiah 25:6-8

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD the LORD, is the rock eternal."
-Isaiah 26:3-4

I GIVE UP!!!!

I mentioned in my anniversary post the strange phenomenon that happens to Jon and I every time we try to plan a weekend "getaway" (all hell breaks loose!), yet for some reason I tried once again to test fate. I had planned for some time to run the St. Louis half-marathon with a group of running friends from TNT. For some unknown reason I thought "Hey, maybe THIS could be a good opportunity for Jonathan and I to get a weekend away...just the two of us". Sounds like a good plan, eh? SO, the plans were made. The hotel was booked (a beautiful Sheraton just a few blocks from the start line), plans were made with friends, and we even scheduled a late-checkout time at the hotel to give us extra time to stay and enjoy the city after I was done running. The plan was "perfect".

Let me share with you how the trip started out.....

Susan and Theresa had these cute blue shirts made for everyone that said: "St. Louis or bust!"


We just couldn't resist!


I have no idea what this bronzed bunny is supposed to be doing????


Now, does this look like the face of someone who is about to barf their brains out in about 7 hours?

So, now you can probably guess the end of the story....

After spending a lot of time, money, and a TREMENDOUS effort planning a great weekend getaway, we got to spend about two hours of "fun time" together before I woke up at 2:30 a.m. sick as a dog! I spent the majority of my time in St. Louis on the bathroom floor of our hotel puking non-stop. Finally, after throwing up every little sip of water I swallowed, I made the decision to QUIT drinking anything and just drag my butt to the car for the torture ride home.

Folks, I cannot remember another time in my whole life where I was in such agony! My poor hubby drove as fast as he could to get us home, and by the time we made home I was begging him to take me ANYWHERE to get help! Like any good husband would do he drove me straight to an ER where I finally got some relief! My diagnosis....a horrid sinus infection, coupled with a "fun" bladder infection, topped off with what we could only assume was either food poisoning or the stomach flu! How's that for a slap in the face?



It's like God was trying to tell me something...no? Because, Lord knows I'm stubborn enough to run a half-marathon with a sinus infection AND a bladder infection. It was the whole "puking-until-I-cried-for-mercy" thing that put the final nail in the coffin I think. Now, if I could only get an answer to why my husband and I can't catch a break. That one will remain one of life's greatest mysteries.....

Easter Fun!

Everybody say it with me.... AWWWWW! I actually found matching dresses for the girls this year & they were so cute! I even sort of matched them as well, although that really wasn't planned. I was just wearing the same Easter outfit that I've worn for the past three years (at least the ones were I wasn't pregnant)-ha! That's the price you pay when you spend all your money on cute little girl clothes, instead of clothes for yourself.

I bought these hilarious bunny ears on the dollar aisle at Target, thinking the kids wouldn't really wear them. However, I was pleasantly surprised when they were a hit on Easter Day! In fact, they didn't want to take them off the whole day!

*Thanks, Avery! I loved your "bunny impression"... you rock!


Nothing says "cute" like "Z-Man" in fuzzy bunny ears. Poor thing! His mommy wouldn't let him have a real peep, so he had to chew on a little stuffed one. Maybe next year little man.

Finally...no Easter is complete without a "Little White" melt-down! This year we had the good pleasure of being an audience to Maya - the "drama queen" AND her big brother Chandler - the "YOU NO TELL ME NO" king!

Two acts are always better than one :-)

*Sorry buddy....don't think you are going to fit under the couch. You're going to have to find a better pouting place (sigh).



*Although it is against my tradition, there were no outdoor pictures on Easter this year. Seeing as it was a whopping 34 degrees, I couldn't bear to drag myself or the kids outside for that sort of torture. Geez, we had better weather for Christmas this year. I'm still not sure this is Spring, cause I'm still wearing the puffy winter coat over here & I'm just a little bitter about it!

Toothpaste facial?

The other day I realized the house was way too quiet & my heart was immediately stricken with fear! I began looking for the kids, and as I turned the corner from the kitchen to the back bathroom I heard the sound of Maya's voice quietly jabbering to herself.

When I opened the bathroom door THIS is what I saw! After I had a good laugh (and took this picture), I asked Maya "what are you doing?". It was at this point that she furrowed her little brow, and gave me a look that said "what do you think I'm doing?" It was very clear that Maya, like all women, was inventing a new way to deep cleanse her baby pores. You know, you can never start good facial cleansing habits too early!


After LOUDLY protesting my "intervention" in her pore cleansing experiment, she surprised me by turning to the medicine cabinet to put the toothpaste back on the shelf. That's my girl!

Ahhh... it's nice to know I'm teaching her good habits at such a young age :-). She is definitely a girl....had this been Chandler's "experiment", he would have eaten the whole tube of toothpaste and then flushed the tube down the toilet just to see what happens!

The God Who Sees Me.

Last year I did an incredible Bible Study by Beth Moore called "The Patriarchs". Obviously this study was focused primarily on the lives of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. However, if any of you have ever done a Beth Moore study then you know that your study is going to take you from Genesis to Revelation & then back again!

Without sounding like I "worship" Beth Moore, I'll just say this is a woman who is truly anointed by God. NEVER.... EVER have I gotten so much out of a Bible Study. If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would be EXCITED to study the genealogy of Abraham, much less to be forever changed by reading 49 chapters of Genesis, I probably would have laughed out loud. But, that was before this study!

During this study I began to see God as a personal God....my God....my savior. It sounds a little strange to say that since I grew up in a Christian home, with wonderful, godly parents. Maybe it was because of my "safe" upbringing that I didn't really try to "own" my faith. I just sort of accepted the faith of my family.

Fast-forward to last year. I was (and still am to some degree) really wrestling with what I truly believe. Who is God to ME. What does my faith mean to ME. This may sound silly, or even selfish, but I was searching for something that made God seem real to me. I'd spent SO MUCH of my life listening to my parents and Sunday school teachers tell me who God was, that I don't think I ever stopped to figure that out for myself.

Two weeks into the Patriarchs study we were Studying the life of Hagar. Now, Hagar doesn't exactly hold the most coveted role among women in the Bible, but her story touched me deeply. Hagar was Sarai's maidservant, who Sarai gave to Abraham to have a child with. When Hagar became pregnant she despised Sarai (wouldn't you?) and Sarai mistreated her. It didn't take long for Hagar to get tired of being mistreated & she fled from Sarai. Can you imagine that? Really? First of all, you are given a lowly position of being someones "maidservant", then you are "given" to this chicks husband to have a baby with. Once you get pregnant... you are expected to be happy about it, and willingly give this child up to a woman who is treating you badly! Does that even seem fair?

Yet, God...the LORD (the I AM...the covenant God... Yahweh) God saw Hagar. In all her shame and hurt, while she was traveling all by herself back to Egypt, God looked down on her and chose HER to reveal himself to. The LORD sought her out. God was looking for Hagar! In the midst of Hagar's greatest time of loneliness and pain, in her humiliation, HE...GOD found Hagar (Genesis 16:7-15)! Isn't God amazing?

What's more touching about this story (to me at least) is the name Hagar gave to God after she encountered him there in the middle of the desert. She gave God the name "El Roi" which means "The God who sees me". The first time I read Genesis 16:13 (where Hagar gives God this name) I wept for a long time. Why? Because, who doesn't want to feel "seen" or "known"? I believe it's a basic human instinct to want to be known and understood...to be seen. I LOVE that God chose Hagar to reveal himself to, because that shows me that God sees me too. Who am I that God should see me?

Hagar's story gave me a new perspective on who God is. My whole life it made perfect sense to me that God would reveal himself to biblical characters such as Abraham, Jacob, and Moses. But, me....NO WAY! God would never do that for me...right? I never saw myself as "worthy" of God's attention in that way. I always thought that I was the one who had to seek God out & hope that I was worthy enough to be given a "morsel". In my mind I was never "good enough" to be given great things to, or "bad enough" to be saved in a miraculous way! I think I saw myself as invisible to God. I thought of myself as "nothing special" to be sought after.

God broke my heart when I read Hagar's story. I was Hagar! I was not really searching for God because I didn't think I was "good enough" to hear from God. I knew I had made mistakes, I knew I had some wrong thinking, and I was sure God had better stories to tell than my story. I just didn't see God as a God who sought after people like me. I can say for certain that God spoke to me that day in a very real way. He allowed me to see myself as "worthy" of being sought after by the almighty God. If he cared about a girl like Hagar enough to seek her out in the desert & reveal himself to her...then maybe he could do the same for me.

Beth Moore had a quote in that days lesson that said: "We are not an afterthought to God. We are the point of His involvement with this planet. He does not just tolerate us, He pursues us.". Amen!

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She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said "I have now seen the One who sees me."

Genesis 16:13

Bass Pro!

Last week we visited the new Bass Pro that just opened. I have to say that I was a little (OK...A LOT) let down. The only other Bass Pro I had been to was the one in Springfield & this new one doesn't even come close to the Springfield one. But, we just wanted to get he kids out of the house & that's what we did :-) Anything you do with the "Three Little White's" in tow is never dull....or without a tantrum-LOL! Here are a few picture's. Enjoy!


Chandler was telling me about the "Bid Fwish" in the aquarium :-)

McKenna being a cute little ham for the camera. She was so cute all day. She talked to the fish in the aquarium for a LONG time. She has such a neat imagination.

Still talking to the fish!


Maya just wanted to pet the fish, so I found this cute bench for her to "pet".


This stuffed bear really freaked the kids out. They would just barely touch it then go screaming in the opposite direction!


Daddy and Channy picking out next years Christmas gift (yeah, right!!).



Maya wants the little red one :-)


This was just too sweet. McKenna is such a animal lover. She fell in love with this stuffed coyote (??I think that's what it was) & asked to go back and see him THREE times. She sat and talked to him like this for about 20 minutes & when we left she ran back to him and kissed him (I know...yuck!) and said "I love you little fox....you take care now, OK".


The kids had a great time in the camping section. They were all getting pretty tired by that time & they started to curl up in the sleeping bags for naps!
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*Karen, when you and Tom buy that $37,000 "Party Barge" you had better invite us out-LOL!

Random thoughts....and such.

Random Thoughts

*Today I received a anniversary card with a interesting message & a book of first class stamps. Yep, STAMPS! Wow....I'm touched??? The person who sent me this very belated anniversary card shall remain nameless....but those who know my family "situation" can probably guess who gave me such a "thoughtful" gift. Nothing says "I love You" like a book of stamps, eh? (*No, it was NOT from Jonathan....shame on you for thinking that!).


*We are well into the Lent season now, and I think I've come to the conclusion that most of my friends and family are giving up "blogging" for Lent. Anybody want to update their blog....anyone???

*Yesterday McKenna told me I was the bestest, most beautifulest Mommy in the whole world! Oh, and she also told me I have the "softest squishiest tummy skin too". Thanks, babe! I'm pretty fond of my "pizza dough" stomach too (hey, at least someone is fond of my flap that I like to call "abs").

*Maya has a "sweet" new phrase...... "GIVE BAAAAAAAAACK"! I love how the third child learns so quickly! Believe me, I don't have to fight any of her battles for her. She does just fine on her own! In fact, pretty soon I'm going to have to protect Chandler from HER! Jon calls Chandler and Maya "Pinky and The Brain"....Chandler's the brute & she's the boss!!! Ten years from now those two are going to send me to the "Crazy Home".
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I just smile every time I see this picture of Maya. It's just so...."her".

Me and Channy! The thought occurred to me that I should enjoy these years while my little boy is still "mine". I know there will come a day when he will give his heart to another woman & I'll lose the sweet little boy in this picture (sniff, sniff).


This is what I found McKenna and Maya doing one day! I LOVE how Maya is stuffed in a tiny suitcase for this "tea party"!! I think I'd ask for better accommodations :-).

Seriously.........Seriously!

Last week while I was rushing through Target looking for discounted pull-ups I saw something that still disturbs me...........








*Here we have the fashion pink raincoat AND hat-boots sold separately (because every dog just LOVES wearing a hat), the Leopard print velour hoodie (that was listed as an "essential" item), the chocolate brown "special occasion" evening gown (I'd like to know what "special occasion" one might have that they could possibly need such an item), the "DogGone" Dog music CD (music to calm your pets soul) & most importantly the inflatable air mattress for Rufus to take on those upcoming Spring camping trips!

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I understand how someone could love their animal & even get a kick out of buying cute dog bowls and maybe even a sparkly collar (because those are things animals have to actually use), but I think this is way TOO much! It disturbs me that the Paris Hilton's of the world have now set a new "standard" for dog owners to try to meet...or even out-do. The fact that someone would spend $100 (or more) on a dog "tote", or even have a valid use for a dog stroller (yes, they have those too) makes me wonder where their priorities are?? We are "humanizing" our pets to the point that I think people are really starting to get some screwed up thinking. We think nothing of humanizing a dog... buying them clothes, toys, strollers, and even expensive designer dog beds, but "humanize" an unborn baby.......WAIT A STINKING MINUTE! No! We can't and won't go there!! Has our society hit a new "low"? What do you think?

*I know I sound a little "huffy" about this.....but I'm really not. It was just one of those moments that got me thinking...you know? It's not that I'm "mad" at people who find it entertaining to dress up their pets (I know that I could never personally go there...but to each their own), I honestly started laughing when I saw dogie "bling bling" as part of the dog accessories. However, when I walked away from Target that night I just got to thinking how sad it was that we are teaching people to put the needs of animals on the same level as that of our children. I guess that's what got me. I KNOW no puppy is EVER gonna be as important or treasured to me as my kids are. Maybe that's all I'm trying to say....

[*stepping down off soap box]

Happy Valentine's Day! (a little late)

Happy Valentines Day (a day late)! Hope you had a great day yesterday & got to enjoy your loved ones. We had a bit of a crazy day, but we still managed to have some fun too. McKenna and I made home made play-dough & McKenna made some fun "Valentines" for me and Jonathan.


How Cute is that! She did this all by herself, without any help from me :-)

This was Daddy's Valentine!
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These Have been a Valentine "favorite" in our home for the past couple of years!
They are called "Swedish Cream Wafers" & they are YUMMY! They are not very easy to make, but the end result is worth the effort!




*Here is the recipe if you want to try them at your home.







Wafer:

1 Cup butter, softened

1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

2 cups sifted all-purpose flour

*1/3 cup granulated sugar for decoration

Cream:

1/4 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup sifted confectioners sugar

1 egg yolk

1 teaspoon vanilla

food coloring



Directions:

1. Combine the 1 cup butter, cream, and sifted flour. Mix well and chill for at least 1 hour.

2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

3. On a floured board, roll out 1/3 of the dough to 1/8 inch thick. Cut with 1 1/2 inch round (or heart!) cookie cutter. Transfer rounds to waxed paper heavily covered with sugar. Turn rounds so that both sides are coated with sugar. place rounds on ungreased baking sheets and prick each round with a fork about four times. Repeat with remaining dough.

4. Bake at 375 for 7-9 minutes. Let cookies cool then put together with filling.

5. To make filling: Blend the remaining 1/4 cup of butter, confectioners sugar, egg yolk (I do not use this because Chandler is allergic to eggs), and vanilla together. Tint with food coloring. *You may double the filling for a nicer looking cookie :-)




6. Enjoy!

Dear Starwood....

Thank You.....
For choosing such a thoughtful health care plan that includes......zip....zilch....nadda....NOTHING! Thank you for seeing to it that our awesome "plan" does NOT cover ANY of Chandler's allergy, eczema, or asthma related medications. Thank you.....for seeing to it that our co-pays go UP each year while our benefits go DOWN. That was so thoughtful of you to make our family pay 1/3 or our yearly salary for "benefits" that do us no good. I really enjoyed having to spend $80.77 on Albuterol and the "AeroChamber Plus" tonight, just so my son could breathe without puking. Such a delight! What would I do without our rocking "benefits". You "saved" me $13 whole dollars at Walgreens tonight. Wow! Where would I be without those kind of "benefits"?

Oh, and I thought I might also add how much I enjoy watching my 3 year old son claw his skin till' it bleeds, while he wipes his runny nose on his bed sheets, while drawing in a wheezy shallow breath. Fantastic!

Can I get an 800 number to call and find out what exactly you DO cover? Because, so far I'm having a hard time figuring out what exactly is covered under my "plan". While I DO enjoy paying 90% of the cost for our prescriptions, I'm just wondering if there is any drug category you actually cover at oh, say.....50%. I'd be tickled pink if you payed at least that much some times.


*Anyone wanna guess what kind of Monday I had....

7 Years ago.....

On January 29th Jonathan & I celebrated our 7th anniversary! It sure doesn't seem like it's been 7 years since we said our wedding vows. A LOT has happened in those 7 years, so maybe time just flies when your having fun!

This is NOT the best picture of us, but I thought it was funny that when I tried to find a picture of just the two of us, it was IMPOSSIBLE! In fact, it's hard to find a picture WITH one of us in it! That's the price you pay when you spend your life behind the camera trying capture every cute move your children make-LOL!

Here is my:

"Top 7 Reasons Why I Love Being With Jonathan"

1. I get a front row seat the 1,000 different "voice talents" Jonathan can imitate (for the record I still laugh every time he does Hank Hill & Homer Simpson).
2. I have the good pleasure of being introduced to new music on a regular basis, as well as new "up and coming" music talent. Because of this, I may be the only female this side of the Mississippi that knows who the heck Andy Timmons or The Derek Trucks Band is and what the name of their last albums are.
3. He still tells me I'm beautiful....even after three kids and all the "love marks" they left behind (and by that I mean ON my behind!).
4. He lets me be "me". I talk too much & say stupid things ALL THE TIME & he just laughs at me & shakes his head. He "gets me"...which is a really hard thing to do considering that I don't always "get me".
5. He completes my thoughts when I've forgotten what the heck I was getting ready to say...or meant to say & it came out wrong (that's what being a mother of three kids 5 and under will do to you).
6. He has a beautiful smile & gorgeous blue eyes to match!
7. Each year with him gets better and better...............................

Enough.

It's been a rough couple of months, and I've felt exhausted in just about every area of my life. Mentally, physically, and emotionally I feel......well, spent. I've heard it said that when your life hits a place like this it would be wise to "be still" & listen for God's still small voice in your life. Sometimes we get a BIG sign from God & other times we may miss it if we are not looking for his hand at work. I think I miss it ALL the time. I will look back and say......"Oh....that was YOU at work in my life, God".

Amid all of the turmoil & disappointment I've been experiencing lately, I've been failing to see God's hand at work in my life. His love. The way he "covers me". The way he "lifts my head" when I've fallen. I've taken those things for granted & decided that I must have been alone during many of those hard times...but that couldn't be further from the truth!

Today, I feel like it's important to give God the credit for the many wonderful things He has done in my life (and will continue to do). Despite going through a very tough time right now, something beautiful has happened in my heart. I still have hope! I know the only reason I still have this hope is because God has been gracious enough to give me that gift right when I needed it. He really is a personal and loving God....it's just taken me 27+ years to see that!

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because I want you to be encouraged! I want you to to know God is a God of hope and healing! You see, I'm still not out of the "tunnel" (so to speak), but I am clinging to the hope that where God is leading me will NOT end in more darkness, but rather a very bright new beginning! For now, I put my hope and trust in a God that is enough...

*As I have been walking through this journey of faith my heart has been touched by the words to this worship song. I hope you will meditate on these words as well & come to find that Jesus really is "enough" for you. If you are in the middle of a dark "tunnel" ask God to stand beside you and lead you. Ask for BIG things! Ask Him to give you hope to believe that the end is going to be worth the journey that you had to take to get there. I believe God loves nothing more than to take your hand and lead you into something greater than what you could have imagined for yourself. He is such an awesome God in that way!

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Enough Lyrics

Artist: Chris Tomlin

Album: Not To Us

"Enough"

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough

*

You are my supply My breath of life

And still more awesome than I know

You are my reward worth living for

And still more awesome than I know

*

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough

*

You're my sacrifice Of greatest price

And still more awesome than I know

You're the coming King You are everything

And still more awesome than I know

*

More than all I want More than all I need

You are more than enough for me

More than all I know More than all I can say

You are more than enough for me !

HERE is a link to the song-Enjoy!